Fluttering Inspiration

As you can see, my blog has a slightly updated and improved look to it... (I got bored Friday) Let me know if it makes things hard to read or whatnot. I don't have much to report on this week as far as events go, as I spent yet another weekend in San Jose. This time I at least had some money and was able to see the city and some museums, parks, etc. In other news I begin my last four days of Spanish class this week, which will be followed by 6 free days that I plan to use traveling a little (granted my loans come in my then). Also, the girl who had been living at my house and a few other of my closer friends here left today to begin their volunteering programs, which leaves me to find more people who I will in turn be leaving soon.

While this was a comparatively ordinary week in Costa Rica there was one, seemingly insignificant event, did stick in my mind and kept coming back. As I was touring the city I stopped in at the National Museum, which I'd already visited but didn't have time to check out the "Secret Garden" (a butterfly garden situated in the middle of this old historic fort). I remember thinking as I was about halfway through the trail that I hadn't seen any butterflies. It was about then that I happened upon a contraption holding some old fruit in which a large, yet fairly unimpressive, butterfly was feeding. It was a kind of brownish gray and the only significant feature I could see was an eye stop for deterring predators. I stopped and simply watched it fill its proboscis(nerdy entomology term for the mouth thingy that it uses to eat) with the fruits contents. Once it was satisfied it took flight and as it fluttered this way and that I got to see the vibrant blue colors it had been hiding. This somewhat caught me off guard and being the dork that I am, really intrigued me. There was just something about that that wouldn't leave me alone, and i found it interesting how something that small could change my attitude from almost pessimistic to joyful. I know this is part of it's survival strategy but as it sat there and did next to nothing it blended in and was almost unnoticeable; but once it started doing something, flying and moving, you'd have to have to be blind not to notice it.

It's strange how God can use something you've seen over and over again and this time somehow use it to teach us something. I couldn't help but think there was a reason this stuck me so strongly, but what was it. As I replayed this image in my head throughout the day, it eventually associated itself with a bible verse I'd been trying to memorize. (A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another. John 13:34-35) (Tangent: this verse originally stuck out to me because of the repetition of the phrase "love one another" three times. I got the image of Jesus just being like, "pay attention this is important... I'm not just saying this for my health... no listen, you need to love one another.") Anyway, I began to try and connect the two, the image and the verse. I tried relating us as people (and particularly as Christians) to the butterfly. If we sit around and do nothing we blend in. There may be a few interesting qualities, but over all nothing special, nothing significant. In order to show what's on the inside (a life changed by knowing Christ) we have to be doing something, but what. How do show the world what we have, how do we share that, how do we open our wings in a way that catches the attention of others and is almost impossible to miss? That's when the verse comes in. Jesus tells us three times exactly how we show the world that we are his disciple, "love one another." This love is more than an emotion, it's an action. That's what evangelism is.

I get excited thinking about this with everything that's going on back home on the Mizzou campus as my friends get an amazing chance to put this into practice starting a new school year with thousands of new students (and old ones too). It helps me focus on the reason behind handing out icee pops, talking to random people in Brady Commons, and going around to dorm rooms at the risk of being awkward or thought of as a little strange. But isn't that kind of the point. There's something different about a person that loves, something that registers as not quite right or normal, something that is noticable. This makes sense because Jesus says this is how we make ourselves known. Jesus also put in the qualifier, "as I have loved you". This, I think, is the ultimate kicker. How has Jesus loved us? The short answer is that He loved us even though we didn't deserve it, and that's how we're comanded to love one another, without making people earn it or even when they've done something that deserves the oposite. Interesting what can happen by watching a butterfly for a few seconds.

A Couple Hundred Colones Short of a Dollar

It has recently occurred to me that many of you, even those very close to me, may not know exactly why I'm here. I'm writing this as much for that purpose as I am for my own benefit and clarification. As I know my explanation will contain much talk of God I fear coming off as self-righteous or, on the other hand, with an air of false humility. Neither is my intention, only to recount the story and give credit to God where it is due. Keep in mind my tendency to do what is easy and my inclination to do what is expected, the logical next step that most people take if you will. This is a story of obedience and breaking that tendency.

I transferred to the University of Missouri (Mizzou) my sophomore year and quickly became involved with a church called The Rock, comprised mostly of college students. About a month or so into the school year came the Fall Retreat. This is where we spend a couple days out in rural Mid-Missouri away from Columbia and school to spend time with our church community and focus on god with less distractions. I knew there would be an opportunity available to be baptized. This was something I’d been thinking about since I started taking my spiritual life more seriously and gave my life to Christ a few years earlier. I'd been presented with the opportunity several times each accompanied with the inner conviction to go ahead with it. I always had an excuse ready and said I'd do it next time. (How many next times do you need?) I finally decided to obey that inner voice but only at the last minute as we were about to head to the lake, and only after talking the matter over with people like my mother and a friend I'd only known a few months (who would eventually become one of my best friends and most trusted advisors.)

This small act of obedience opened the door to more of God's requests. After years of only being asked one thing, I started to feel God's urging towards other things. One of those was to go on a mission trip to Honduras, and this time without much convincing, I attended the information meeting. I was trying to trust and follow God's tug a little better. This was maybe the first off the wall out of the ordinary thing I've done and once again god proved my obedience worth while as I was blessed with an amazing, eye opening, life changing experience.

It wasn't until after we boarded the plane and were in the air on our way home that I idea came to me that I didn't quite feel was entirely my own. What could I do to help the problems and poverty I witnessed? I mean, I study grass for Peat's sake! Well, pretty convenient for me grass is a plant and my classes have given me pretty good knowledge of plants as a whole and how they work. What if I was to go to an impoverished country like Costa Rica and start a business, a farming business perhaps? (Sounds perfect in a place where any kind of high tech business would be out of place next to houses without walls much less anything else.) I could use this business to provide jobs and pay decent wages, something that's almost unheard of in certain parts of Honduras. Build relationships and use that as a basis for sharing the most valuable thing I have, a relationship with Jesus.

Well, that was a nice idea. Not really sure what to do with it, I stored it in my mental archives revisiting it and dusting it off from time to time. I went back to Honduras in January and shortly after returning, the experience still fresh in my mind, one of my classes was visited by a man talking about study abroad. He talked of Thailand, Ireland, Australia, and Costa Rica (a country the distance of only a few states from Honduras). Study Abroad? That didn't fit into my predictable plan of high school, college, job... but again came that quiet voice. If I'm ever going to do something with this idea, this may be my best/only chance to really find out what it'll take. I picked up a brochure at the Ag School's study abroad fair that outlined the 2 and 6-week summer programs. 2 or 6 weeks, that sounds comfortable enough and I could say I looked into it and made an effort no matter how feeble.

I read about the summer programs, neither of which were really what I was looking for. When I normally would have given up there, I decided to talk with the study abroad advisor and find out if either trip was worth my time or money. After telling him about the idea I'd gotten on the plane, this eyeglassed curly haired man excitedly started telling me about a place in Costa Rica called EARTH University (sounds a little corny to me). He then continued to throw out things like semester...5 months...classes in Spanish...HOLD UP! This is more than I asked for! But in his ramblings however, he mentioned EARTH's 3 main principles of entrepenuership, community development and betterment, and sustainable agriculture. The fit was a little uncanny. All 3 things lended themselves perfectly to the idea I had waiting patiently in the file cabinet of my mind.

After taking some time to think about it and talking it over with several people, I decided that it was obvious what I needed to do, no matter how crazy or difficult it sounded. I'd be taking 4 months of classes in Spanish when my previous experience consisted of a few years of mediocrely taught Spanish from ages ago in high school that I had no problem letting slip my mind once finished with a test. After all, I was never going to need it again. Nevertheless, I decided to trust God once again and obey.

So that brings us to where I am now, a 1 month Spanish crash course, still scared of the task ahead of me, still dealing with leaving the security of friends and community back home, still trying to figure out how to depend on God fully. I don't want to make this sound like Hell, however. This is a blessed opportunity that few get to experience and that many covet. I get to be immersed in a new culture and learn a new language, even if the process sucks and is hard sometime. God has given me the opportunity to see some of his most beautiful creations from paradise-like beaches, to towering waterfalls, tropical rainforests, and the powerful awe inspiring fireworks of active volcanoes. Being a nature lover and feeling God's presence most convincingly through that creation, I could not ask for more.

As to what God's ultimate purpose behind me being here is, I can only speculate at this point. What I can do though, is to try to be fully where God has me at this season in my life, and continue to trust and obey him the best I can, no matter where that takes me.

Prayer Closet- Mathew 6:6

After meeting at the mall, a large group of us headed to Castro's; a latin dance club/bar. We arrived to discover a cover charge of 2000 colones that hadn't been required on my previous visit. (I supose it was because Dia de los madres was the following day and people had the next day of and the night to party.) This unexpected fee sapped abou 2/3 of my funds and with the prospect of paying for a taxi ahead of me I had to abstain from purchasing anything. The night was not a loss, however, as making a fool of myself on the dance floor came complimentary with the cover charge. I took a taxi home along with two other people who live near me. I was the first to get dropped of and so gave all the money I had left to the others, saving just enough for a bus ride to school in the morning.

I don't have class on Friday, but since some people do I planned on spending the day at the school working on some personal things like registering for classes at the university. My other reason for going was to get my ATM card that I had chacked into the school's safe as to not have it stolen. I used the day off to sleep in a bit and after breakfast, a shower, and a little reading was on my way. I arrived at school around 11:30 and started getting a little worried as I rounded the corner to see no cars in the parkinglot and no smiling security guard at the entrance. Having previously assumed that school would continue regardless of the holiday, I approached the door anyway. I rang the bell and hoped for something, anything, knowing I had only 15 colones (about 3 cents), not even enough for a bus ride home. My spirits lifted as the janitor answered the door, but soon faded as it became clear that he could not get into the safe. Still, he let me in to show me that my things were secure and wished me bueno suerte (good luck) as I left. Without any other option I began the trek home on, fortunately, the only day it hasn't rained since I've been here. My plans of seeing the city all weekend had been shot. I couldn't even get to the city, much less pay entrance fees to museums and such.

I can to Costa rica with the expectation of having to rely on God more than I was used to. I'd be in a new place without the friends and community i have at home. Even normal activities would be harder simply because of the language I barely knew. I was reading my devotionals, my bible, and even a little in books about prayer and grace; but I was not, I realized, relying on God. When i was lonely I'd turn to the technology of the internet and the interaction with old friends via the phenomenon that is Facebook, and when I was bored I'd go to a movie or a bar with people from school. Finally, I was at a point where I couldn't turn to those things. It was just me, God, the few books I had, and my closet of a room; even if only for a few days.

I conceided to my circumstances knowing there was nothing I could do, save waiting for Catalina to come home and borrow me some dinero. I began reading through my book about prayer that I was about half way through already. I paused from the book occasionaly to look at memory verses I'd been neglecting, or just to talk with God (my only company for most of the weekend). Eventually I was able to find Catalina and she so generously shared with me her money she'd received only days before. (Her original stash had been stolen a week ago.) I went with her and some others to a bar Friday night, downtown for lunch and a speed tour through the free national museum Saturday, and a short trip to the mall on Sunday. This only comprised a small segment of my weekend though. The rest was spent in my room. I wasn't even able to buy lunch except for the one Catalina paid for and had to use up my rations of oreos and plantain chips, since we're only provided breakfast and dinner.

By the end of the weekend, after getting over my initial disapointment and inevitable boredom, I came to apreciate the time. I still welcomed the breaks to the city but realized I was getting some much need rest in the presence of God that I couldn't help but feel like he had a hand in engineering. I nearly finished the book, only 2 of 22 chapters left. I eventually began to view my tiny closet of a room affectionately as my prayer closet. there I can be in solitude with god; reading, talking, or just sitting in silence. I simply spent time with and hung out with God; which, when you think about it, is all prayer really is. I mean how else do you build a relationship?

There were also some very interesting by products of this weekend. The frequency that I was reading the book opened up the continuation of a God talk Catalina and I had the first night we met. "What can somebody possibly say about prayer for 300+ pages?" (not an exact quote) And prayer was only the beginning of that conversation. I also had a lot of time to think, and for obvious reasons thought about money. Such power it has over us. It amazes me how much money (or lack there of) affects what we do and what we focus on. 20 bucks would have completely changed the events and focus of my weekend. It has the power, great power, to control us. Now, i'm not saying money is a bad thing, but I can see a little more clearly now why Jesus warned so harshly against the love of it.

Hostel Territory

So I've got one week down, and what a busy one it was. So, dang, I guess I'll start with classes. They have been amazing. I've learned a lot in just the five days taken them. My teacher (Daniel) is really cool and nice. He's actually a year younger than me too which is a little wierd. I've gotten a chance to hang out with him outside of class a few times and he speaks really good english when he's not teaching. He doesn't give much homework either, which is nice. The first week it was just me and two others in the class (Anna and Courtney, from Germany and the states respectively) I got to know them pretty well over the course of the week and we had a lot of fun joking around in class.

Outside of class has been fairly eventfull as well. On Monday I met Catalina (A german girl living at the same house as me) who had been away at the beach all weekend. It was really cool because we got into about a two hour conversation about God that night after dinner. Her english is pretty good. Tuesday night I went to a roller dico with some people from the school (there are a lot of Germans here) which was really fun for about 30 minutes then it just felt like skating in circles. Wednesday I went to Wall-E for the second time (first time in spanish though). Good thing there isn't much dialog in that movie. Thursday night was really fun. I debated staying in because I had to get up at 5:45 on Friday to head to Puerto Viejo (more on that later) but finally decided to go to Castro's which is a latin dance club/ bar. There were a lot of people from the school there and I got a chance to make a fool out of myself, meet some new people, and even get some lessons from the locals.

So, Puerto Viejo... that was an experience. I arrived at the school to meet our bus at 6:30 to learn that the only other two guys that were suposed to go had backed out. (one of whom actually still went, just with another group.) So it was me and 6 German girls who, when they remembered, tryed to speak english for me. We arived about 5 hours later and since we couldn't get ahold of any hostels the day before had the task of trying to find a place to stay. The first two places we went to looked very nice, and they must have been because they were full. So we finally found a place just down the road that had rooms available. We decided to stay there for atleast one night, but it was pretty shady. It turns out it was mostly a hang out for stoners, but they were all very nice. There's a lot of rasta culture at Puerto Viejo I found out. The room I was in was just about big enough for 3 beds and that's all that was in there, and not very comfortable ones either. They also had a metal fan spinning about 3 feet above the top bunk where I was sleeping. With out any other real options we headed out for a beach we had found in the travel guide. It was on but there was a lot of debris from trees and stuff since it's the rainy season. There were also several dogs roaming around aparently looking for food. Nevertheless, it was nice to be somewhere warm and away from the rainy chilly San Jose. After returning to the hostel that evening we decided to save some money and make pasta at the hostel's kitchen. That was fun. After scavenging for enough pots and having to go buy plastic plates and forks we were able to start cooking. We ended up making about 3 times more noodle than we needed, but were able to give them to some other people who were cooking there who said they'd use them for breakfast! We then went out to this really cool bar that was all open air (just like everything in Costa Rica) and had live music. The next day went a little smoother. After getting up, packing and doing a couple tricks on the hostel's trampoline we went back to one of the hostels we'd tried the day before and were able to get enough rooms. This Hostel was WAY better. They had large rooms, clean facilities, hammocks everywhere, exotic plants all over, and one room even had it's own bathroom. We then went to a beach at the national park near Limon which was a lot nicer than the beach the previous day. The waves there were the biggest I'd gotten a chance to be in and there was miles of trail in the forest that we explored a little as I was able to get pictures of really cool plants and insects and such. (I get made fun of for getting excited about plants and bugs here too.) That night we decided to spend a little more money and go out to a resturaunt for dinner. most of us ordered wood oven pizza and we enjoyed a live regae band. Needless to say I slept much better that night. The next day we just went to a beach within walking distance from where we were staying which was pretty rocky but had very clear water and was the perfect temperature. We then comenced our 4 hour drive back to San Jose.

After arriving home I discovered that Catalina had her bag stolen at a near by park which contained most of her money and her camera with all the pictures she'd taken. She is alright though and was able to cancel her credit card and have more money sent from home. Later that night we went with Daniel (He and Catalina kinda like eachother) and one of his friends to a classical music concert. All over Costa Rica there is a music festival going on where all the concerts are free. The one we went to was a guy playing the organ at this old catholic church and even though it about put me to sleep it was really beautiful.

So, thus concludes my first week. I started my second week of classes today and have two new people to get to know. I also have my computer at school now so I have internet access to use skype if I can remember to bring my camera/microphone. I'm also working on uploading pictures but facebook is being dumb. Sorry this is so long, but thanks for reading. I miss you all and hope all is well. Later.

Estoy aqui, finilamente!

Man, there´s nothing like starting out with some adventure. I'm enjoying my first day here in San Jose Costa Rica but not without some mishaps and forgetfulness on my part. It kind of started when I forgot my dress shoes for my cousin´s wedding and had to wear my Flojos (flipflops) but i could just use the excuse that I was trying to acustom myself to the Costa Rican lifestyle. It was toward the end of the reception though that I realized I had forgotten my international student ID and had to drive round trip 3 hours to get the little piece of plastic. (I grabbed my dress shoes too) but again trying to look on the bright side I got to spend some time with my dad and say goodbye to Josh who I didn´t see before I had originally left. So i got to sleep around two and woke up at four to get to the airport for my 6 o´clock flight. We arrived to a large line and computer problems that resulted in a very hurried atemp to get through security and to my gate before my plane left. It didn´t work. I was rescheduled for the 3 15 flight and was awarded 14 dollars in food vouchers and a 400 hundered dollar flight voucher that I can use later. Well I got some more sleep and lunch and went back to the airport, this time only taking about 20 minutes to get to my gate. I was able to properly say good bye to my family this time though. Upon waiting to board the flight, i heard my name being called and was upgraded free to first class (high rollin, I know). That flight went well and I made it to the gate in Atlanta well before the scheduled departure time, which eventually got delayed and then delayed again do to storms in the area. We left about 2 hours late but I was finally on my way, next stop Costa Rica. I was relieved to find my bags had succesfully arrived(since they got sent on the flight I was originally suposed to be on.) As I exited the airport i was greeted by a friendly woman holding a sign that read ¨Brian Bave¨I was taken to my house was i was welcomed by Jose(everyone else was sleeping) and went pretty much straight to bed. I awoke this morning to voices belonging to people I´d not yet met. It was wierd to come out of my room knowing that. I walked into the kitchen to find Yinette (my hostess) making me a huge chocolate chip pancake with a side of banana and grapes. It was deliscious. I was also warmly welcomed by Mia, a very excited 3 week old puppy. Not sure what kind of dog but it´s fluffy and won´t get very big. Yinette and her Daughter Maria showed me around the city a little bit and told me how to get to school. I start tomorrow and am getting pretty excited. I don´t have internet at my home so I may only be able to get to the interwebs about once a week until september when I go to campus, but would love to hear from everyone. Welp thanks for reading and check back soon. I´ll be praying for you.